Just Another Lonely Christmas..♥

12-23-2010 -- It would really be nice if you can spend Christmas with someone you love. But, here I am,spending the rest of my afternoon lying in my bed, reminiscing the memories that we had. What else can be more painful than missing you? And to make it worst, I haven't sensed any sign of life from you. At times, there are things that are beyond our level of understanding. And we just need an explanation. I'm not sure as to why I'm feeling this way, but I just feel so consumed with the sadness inside my heart. Christmas is supposedly a season of merry making. But look at me, I'm at a corner, in tears and in sadness because I am missing you. But the question is, "are you missing me too?" -- maybe not at all -- because you are with somebody -- nah..nah...I don't need these speculations as of this time..Yep, I just heard myself right.. Even if the truth is on parade in front of your face, you still ignore it because love is thicker than reality. But, how far will I go to make this love come true? How much pain will it take me to take us into forever? How much will I sacrifice to have you until the end of time? How long will I wait until I have you completely? Or should I ask.."is there any reason for me to ask all these "hows"?... I just don't understand anymore..I don't even know if I can afford to lose this time. I don't know if this is even worth it. I am happy, yes I am -- genuinely happy! How about you, are you really happy? Or this is just another story of make believe and pretensions? I don't understand anymore. I don't wanna assume and I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. The answers are all in you.. I think, I had given you too much time and I think it was already more than enough. It's about time to figure out everything. I just can't afford to hurt somebody.. But at the end of the day..I still say -- only time can tell if this is meant to be..♥